Betting everything on yourself
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Living a life of stress, delaying gratification, no social life, broken relationships, solitude, and constant battles with sadness and depression. Does this sound like a good bet to you? What’s there to win anyway? And more importantly, what’s there to lose apart from all of the sacrifices mentioned?
Is it worth all the sacrifices?
Well, I’ve had times where I was convinced it was going to be the best bet I would’ve ever taken, but now, I am not so sure anymore.
Before going through the entire process of delayed gratification (Or sacrificing instant commodity and pleasure) it’s rather easy to make calls about how’s it’s all going to roll out since you’re most likely starting from a place of comfort, ease of mind, ambition and motivation, but as you go on you realize it’s much harder than you could have ever anticipated.
Loneliness starts kicking in;
Anxiety tries taking over;
Motivation starts wearing off.
I, myself, have come from a nice point in my life, where I’ve had previously undergone another process similar to the one I’m going through right now; the only difference being that I could’ve always failed and nothing major would have changed, but I didn’t. I was extremely satisfied, proud, and accomplished.
This time, on the other hand, I’m starting to run out of time in which I can simply walk out and suffer no consequences. 19 years olds can be stupid, that’s expected, but playing around with important life choices when you are aware of their consequences is a risky bet which could either end extremely well or it could be catastrophic.
Sure, you might say that there’s still plenty of time to turn back and follow the well-worn path, and that is true. The twist is, however, that the regret of knowing I could’ve put everything into becoming the who I wanted to become and to be accomplished and fulfilled would be something I don’t think I could bear, especially after so many sacrifices.
It’s always easy to simply turn back and do what everyone else is doing and live an average life, but knowing you have the curse of having the potential to do some great things and choosing to not do them is something I do not believe I could bear later on in…
